Know You're Alive
by Bligy
Summary: Set at the end of Tights, when Jess goes to see Rory. When both of them express a wish to change what happened, a strange visitor grants them three chances each to change their past, at a cost. See full summary inside. Complete
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Not Mine.**

**Summary: Set at the end of Tights, when Jess goes to see Rory. They both realize that they can't be with each other, but that they still love each other. When both of them express a wish to change what happened, a strange visitor grants them three chances each to change the past, at a price.**

**A/N: Do not ask me what drugs I'm not, I don't know. I swear... the telephone company came over today. Maybe it was their wire cutting thingies. Anyway, yes, this would be a fifth story. It's psychotic and strange and... really screwed up, but I'm going to have fun with it, I hope you do as well.**

**Know You're Alive**

**Chapter Zero**

**Prologue**

**Rated K**

Tears stung her eyes as she watched him, ranting and raving. She kept saying 'no', but he kept not listening. Backing away, walking away, stumbling away, anything to make him understand that she couldn't agree to it. How was it that he could disappear for months, come back, and change everything with his mere presence? He was intoxicating. There was no other way to say it.

"No!" she shouted at him, not hearing what he was saying anymore. "No, no, no, no no!"

"Don't! Don't say no just to get rid of me, only say 'no' if you really don't want to be with me," he said, stopping her running away so that she was facing him.

"N-," she began, but the word died in her throat. She tried again. "N-."

"Rory, please," he begged, touching her arm gently.

"I can't leave," she told him, wrapping her arms around herself and attempted to get away from him.

"Please, come with me," he pleaded, gently, pulling her to him. "I can support us."

"No, I can't go with you," she told him, the tears spilling over.

"Why? Why can't you come with me?" he demanded. "I love you, you love me… don't you?"

"Jess," she said softly, moving away from him again.

"Don't you?" he pressed, standing firm.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I can't just… leave. Everything is here. My school, my friends, my family," she objected, listing them off.

"But I can't stay here," he repeated, sounding broken.

"I can't leave with you," she returned, and they stood there, watching each other, waiting for the other to make their move. She looked away from him, pulling her jacket around her tighter.

"Everyone hates me," he whispered quietly, and looked out of the doors bitterly. "I left you, I left everything."

"Yes, you did," she agreed, glaring at him.

"I'm sorry," he offered, shaking his head and looking away from her.

Time seemed to pause for a minute, and Rory stood up, walking over to him. "This isn't going to work," she attempted to convince him and herself in the process.

"Why?" he shouted, shocking her. "Why won't it work?"

"Because we're different now!" she screamed back.

"No, you're still Rory. I still love you," he denied, stepping towards her and kissing her passionately. Despite her objections, she allowed it.

"This can't happen," Rory objected again, but she was losing her will against him.

"It has to," he objected, pulling her tightly against him.

"You shouldn't have left," she whispered, feeling at home in his arms once again.

"I wish I could take it back," he sighed softly.

"I wish you could too," she whispered, and the world froze around them. At first Rory thought that it was only her imagination. The moment was so perfect, heartbreaking, but perfect. When she attempted to move out of his grasp, however, he seemed to be unable to move. She pulled away again, and his arms gave way slowly, like they were just some toy's arms that she had to physically move. She frowned, looking around in awe. A bird outside the window was frozen in mid-flight, attempting to capture a mouse running away from it.

"Fascinating, isn't it?" a voice drawled from the back of the room. Rory turned around to see a strange looking creature oogling her.

"What are you?" she asked, suddenly terrified. If this thing could stop time, what else could it do? She felt her heart in her throat, trying to choke her.

"My name doesn't matter. What matters, is that I've been sent here to help you… if you want my help," the creature told her eerily.

"What kind of help?" she asked, moving to the opposite side of the room and pressing herself against the window.

"I'm a matchmaker. It's what I do, my business, so to speak. My master was the one that brought you and… this guy," he scoffed at Jess, "together. That means that I have to take care of this mess that he started."

"What are you talking about?" she quivered, moving towards Jess to protect him.

"I'm talking about a second chance," the thing stated, and hopped off its perch. He walked towards her, and she suddenly realized that it was very, very small. It looked larger sitting in the window, but in reality, it was barely the size of her hand. "Better?"

"What are you?" she asked, very confused and not quite as scared anymore.

"As I said before, it doesn't matter. Do you want a second chance, or not?" he reminded her, poking Jess's leg lightly.

"Yes," she admitted quietly, finding herself unable to lie to it.

"Good… have you seen the Little Mermaid?" it asked out of the blue.

"Huh?" she responded in a very Jess-like manner and looked down at it.

"The Little Mermaid, have you see it?" it asked again.

"Yes," she frowned.

"Do you remember the rules that Ursula had?" it led on.

"Yeah… three days, no voice," Rory remembered.

"Great, it's always scary to describe this to the ones that haven't seen that damn movie. It's kinda sad that Disney was the one to represent our society. Anyway, this is kind of like that, 'cept you have a choice. You can either remember this moment and go back in time to try an' fix things, with something else between you, or you can go back without remembering this moment and stumble through everything again, taking the chance that you'll make the same mistakes. The thing with the first choice is, you don't know what's going to be wrong. It could be anything, and I mean that. One of you could end up in a wheelchair. Hell, one of you could even be a mermaid, for all I know. You get three chances… three days at each chance. If you don't change the future, and you'll know if you do or don't, then you blew it, and this is the way things go. Every time you change something, no matter how subtle, the future will change, but not necessarily for the better. If you change it to worse, then you'll automatically restart the day. It's a decent system," he shrugged, explaining the rules.

"What are you?" Rory inquired again, staring at it.

"Chance number one, what do you want?" it demanded.

"I want remember this," she whispered quietly, not quite sure why she was going along with this insanity.

"Goodie," the thing taunted, and then the word shifted realities.


	2. Chapter One: Antics

**Know You're Alive**

**Chapter One**

**Antics**

**Rated K+**

The world froze, Rory froze in his arms. He frowned, realizing this for what it was. His mind sharpened to its surroundings and he glared, searching for it. When they settled on the creature sitting the window, he backed away from Rory and stood directly opposite it.

"It's this again?" he snapped, looking awkwardly.

"You screwed up last time," the imp said with a shrug.

"What makes you think I'll do any better this time?" he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking around casually. The only time that you ever remember this, is when you're there. The limbo-like reality that he'd known only once before in his life: When he'd told Rory he loved her. The hesitation in that moment, the breathing, the looks… they were the transition of time. He'd seen the damage that he could do by changing time, and had decided to leave it the way it was. So he'd told her that he loved her and ran away. Now he was being given a second chance.

"Because she'll be there too," his guide told him carefully.

"As in… there in the past; or as in there in another past, working on the same thing I am?" Jess attempted to clarify.

"Smart boy," it clicked.

"I learn fast," Jess shrugged, and looked down at his feet. "So… let's do this?"

"You know the rules," it nodded.

"And you know my choice," he muttered. In a flash of light, he felt reality shift, sending him somewhere that he probably didn't want to be.

-gGg-

Rory felt sick to her stomach. She collapsed in a bush, keeling over and throwing up. Once her head had stopped spinning, she looked up hesitantly, attempting to figure out where she was. It didn't take long to realize that she was just past Sookie's house, two minutes from her house. The streets were busy with the residents who didn't seem to notice her as she walked past them.

Judging that as being a little weird, she ignored it and kept walking, making a beeline for Luke's. Seeing Jess inside, she smiled and pushed open the doors. She stopped for a minute to watch him, having missed seeing him wandering around Stars Hollow, ignoring customers and pissing Luke off. Once she'd had her fill of oogling, she stepped fully inside and sat at her normal table by the door.

"Hey, can I get you something?" Luke asked from the counter, and she frowned at him.

"Hi… Luke, uh… I'll take some pancakes," she said with a small smile, and he looked at her with a frown.

"Jess, coffee!" he shouted, pointing at her table. As Jess descended on her table, she attempted to smile at him, but he just gave her a look and walked away after filling her cup. She pouted a little bit, wondering if this was one of those times that they were fighting.

"Thanks," she said quietly as he walked by again, and he gave her another weird look. Sighing, she took a sip of her coffee and waited for her pancakes.

"Food's ready," Luke shouted, and Jess brought the pancakes over to her.

"Here," Jess muttered, dropping the pancakes on her table.

"Jess?" she asked, when he was a few steps away.

"How do you know my name?" he asked, turning around to glare at her.

"Umm, it's me… Ro-," she started, but was interrupted when the door bell jingled. Jess turned away from her, ignoring her and moving to the person by the door.

"Hi," he said, kissing the girl, which caused Rory to gape silently.

"Hey," she drawled, in a voice that made her want to throw up again.

"Want to come upstairs?" he asked her between kisses, and they stumbled towards the steps.

"Behave!" called the woman who'd come in with the girl.

"Mom…?" Rory whispered, staring at the woman who used to be her mother in horror, and then looked at the girl who was being dragged up the stairs by Jess.

"Sorry, do I know you?" Lorelai asked her, giving her a confused smile.

"No… no you don't," Rory whispered, turning around in her seat and looking down at her coffee. Instead of the blue eyes that she was used to looking at, she found herself looking at gray eyes, pale skin and black hair. The body that she'd once known to be her own was stumbling up the staircase with Jess's arms wrapped around her. Her eyes fluttered for a second before she fainted dead away on the floor.

Half an hour later, she heard noises and started seeing blurry shapes. She groaned and attempted to sit up on the bed, bringing a hand to her forehead.

"Should she be doing that?" asked her voice, drawling disgustingly.

"I don't know, Lorelai?" Luke's voice burst in, and she turned her head to look at his shadow, then closed them again in pain.

"Hey, are you okay?" her mother's voice finally intruded, and she had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from crying.

"Where am I?" she groaned, not recognizing the surface she was lying on.

"You're at Luke's, in Stars Hollow," her ex-mother provided.

"Oh," she whimpered in disappointment, and attempted to open her eyes again.

"What's your name?" Lorelai inquired, and she flinched, unable to think of anything else to call herself.

"Uh… Evelyn," she finally picked out.

"Do you have a last name?" Luke asked nervously, and she nodded. Now that her eyes had finally decided to open again, she was able to take in her surroundings. She was lying on Jess's bed in Luke's apartment above the diner. Her body was sitting on the edge of the bed, blowing bubble gum absently, Luke was towering over the bed nervously, Lorelai was sitting beside her and Jess was standing at the back of the room, ignoring them all.

"I don't remember it," she murmured, not wanting to lie anymore than she had to.

"Rory, sweetie, could you go downstairs and get some ice? I'm going to go call Taylor, see if there've been any missing people reported," Lorelai declared, which left Rory with only Luke and Jess.

"I'm going to go take care of the diner," Luke excused himself awkwardly, which left her with only Jess.

"What are you reading?" she asked quietly, hoping to get him to speak to her.

"A book," he snapped, and she smiled, pulling her legs to her chest and watching him.

"Did you write it?" she asked dumbly, and almost smacked herself for even asking. He looked at her over the cover at her with disbelieving eyes.

"No," he shrugged.

"Then who did?" she inquired, and hung her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Hemmingway," he answered shortly.

"'Ernest only has lovely things to say about you,'" she muttered bitterly, feeling tears stinging her eyes again.

"What?" he whispered and she saw him mark the page in favor of staring at her.

"Nothing," she mumbled, turning away.

"No, what did you just say?" he demanded, moving towards her.

"I said, nothing," she spit at him, glaring. He stopped advancing and they just stared at each other for a moment.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" he inquired, but opened up his book and got ready to start reading again.

"No, do you read a much?" she shot back, remembering their first conversation.

"Not really," he shook his head, and she smiled at him as he dove back into his book.

"Have you read HOWL?" she prodded.

"About forty times," he shrugged, and then looked at her strangely again.

"I thought you said you didn't read much," she taunted playfully.

"Well… what… is much," he frowned, and advanced on her again. "How did you know that?"

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing," he brushed off, obviously spooked. He moved to the other side of the room again and attempted to read.

"I like Oliver Twist," she chirped.

"Huh," he replied, obviously attempting to tune her out.

"You remind me of Dodger," she whispered, and he snapped his book closed, staring at her.

"Are you stalking me, or something?" he demanded, and she couldn't help but laugh. From the lips of this body, this strange body, it actually sounded more like a girly giggle, which soon turned bitter.

"Nope," she popped the 'p', and then locked her eyes with his again, tears sparkling in hers as she watched him. Her bottom lip quivered and she had to look away, feeling tears pour down her face. "Could I use the washroom?"

"Yeah, sure… it's right there," he gaped; pointing at the door that she knew led to the washroom.

"Thanks," she sobbed, and flew into the tiny space. After a few minutes of sitting on the edge of the bath tub, she finally managed to gain up enough courage to stand up again. She washed her face, gazing at the unfamiliar reflection in the mirror. "You can do this."

With a sigh, she opened the door and stepped out into the apartment. Jess was standing there with the ice that her body was supposed to have brought to her. No one else was in sight.

"Hey," she greeted a little uneasily.

"Here," he said, flinging her the bag of ice. She looked at it and then back up to him.

"Do you have some soda?" she cringed.

"I think it's for your head," he chuckled, shaking his head.

"My head's fine," she grumbled and threw the ice in the sink. "Where are the others?"

"Downstairs," he shrugged, and frowned at her. "How did you know that… those words?"

"What words?" she asked innocently.

"Those things that you just said," he motioned wildly. "They were the exact same things I told… her."

"Who?" she continued dumbly with a frown, but her heart was racing in her chest.

"Rory…" he trailed off, staring at the door like it was about to fly off its hinges.

She had to take a deep breath before continuing. "Who's Rory?"

"My girlfriend," he mumbled, and then looked back at her again.

"Oh, girlfriend?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Yeah," he shrugged, continuing to glare at her suspiciously.

"Do you think that Ayn Rand is a nut?" she questioned out of the blue.

Instead of answering, he just nodded his head mutely. She smiled tightly and sat on the bed again, pulling her legs up to her chest and wishing that she'd never agreed to this stupid thing.

"What else do you know about me?" he broke the silence again. His eyes were on her face, she could feel them, but she attempted to ignore them.

"I don't know anything about you… I don't even know your name," she lied.

"My name's Jess," he told her, but she didn't feel his eyes lift from her body.

"It's a nice name," she attempted, hoping that he'd stop looking at her soon.

"My mother's a nutcase," he snapped back.

"Liz isn't so bad," she said before she knew what she was saying, and clapped a hand over her mouth in horror.

"I didn't tell you that. How do you know my mother?" he snarled, advancing on her quickly and lifting her chin so that she had no choice but to stare into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I knew you in elementary school in New York… we weren't friends or anything, but I remembered you and your mother," she cringed, lying through her teeth.

"I don't remember you," he accused.

"Of course you don't. You were always the kid in the corner, reading his books. You never talked to anyone, you wouldn't have noticed anyone unless they flashed you," she countered, shoving his hands off angrily. Where had that come from?

"What the hell do you know about me?" he demanded again, chasing after her as she scrambled from the bed and attempted to get to the door of the diner.

"I told you everything I know," she whimpered, finding the door locked. Her eyes darted around, trying to find another exit, but before she could put any plans into the work, his hands grabbed her shoulders and turned her around. The door slammed hard against her back and she cringed, tears stinging her eyes.

"Stay the hell away from me," he hissed at her, and she could only nod mutely. He pushed her away from the door and stormed out into the hall. Tears poured down her cheeks and she curled her legs to her chest, rocking back and forth. This couldn't be happening. Almost as though it were on cue, she felt a shift in the reality around her again.

Hiding her face in her knees, she didn't want to look up. She didn't want to know where she was.

"Rory?" someone asked behind her. She turned around to see Jess standing there. Her eyes dashed around, they were back at the college, in her dorm room.

"Is this real?" she begged, scrambling to her feet and running into his arms.

"No… this is limbo," he replied bitterly, his arms holding her tightly to him.

"Why is this happening? That was terrible, it was horrible… I wasn't me. I mean, I was me, but I wasn't, and I had to lie to you and you threatened me. You slammed me against a door and it hurt and the girl… she was horrible. She was drawling and hanging all over you. It was sickening. What's going on?" she rambled desperately, holding him tightly to her body.

"We screwed up," he offered lightly. He kissed the top of her head softly as she felt his entire form tighten firmer than a spring.

"You two really don't know how to deal with gifts," the thing's familiar voice hissed behind her. She tensed in his arms and felt more tears streaming down her face.

"Make it go away," she pleaded. "I'm fine… I'll leave with you. Just… don't make me go back."

"Three days, three ways, three choices… you agreed, and now you must pay. Both of you," the thing stated, and Rory felt herself yanked out of Jess's arms by some invisible force. She barely felt herself collide with the wall, instead she as focused on the fact that Jess's body seemed to be dissolving before her eyes.

"Stop!" she shrieked, but it was too late. The room spun around her again and she saw a glassy image of Stars Hollow before her eyes as she fainted, for the second time that day.


	3. Chapter Two: Compromise

**A/N: Some of you are probably out for my guts right now. Understandable, I haven't posted an udpate in a long, long time. This was because wasn't letting me, however, not because they weren't written. Kudos to those who checked my profile and got these next two chapters. In case you didn't, here they are. **

**Know You're Alive**

**Chapter Two**

**Compromise**

**Rated T**

Jess hit the ground a lot harder than he'd anticipated. His legs smashed into the hard cement and sent him to his knees. Looking around, he attempted to figure out where he was. The last 'dimension' he'd been sent to had been in the past. He'd been stuck dealing with a primp, prissy and proper Rory Gilmore. It had driven him insane, and in the end he'd escaped by throwing a glass of water into her father's face.

If it weren't for the fact that he'd seen her again, seen her wanting him, needing to be with him, he probably would have done much the same thing here. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy. Now, crouching naked on the ground in front of Luke's diner, he knew that he had to make a difference. Stumbling to his feet, he attempted to shove open the door. It creaked once beneath the powerful attack and then fell to the ground with a clatter. He blinked, not understanding what was going on.

"Hello?" he called into the diner, standing up carefully as to not bare himself to the window. Sure, he wasn't precisely conservative, but that didn't mean he'd go showing off his goodies to Ms. Patty either. Frowning, he strode into the diner, noticing how empty it was. Everything looked long-deserted, like no one had entered into the diner in years. "What the hell?"

Not caring so much for his chastity anymore, he ran up the stairs and into the apartment. His old room had been ravaged, destroyed, and a skeleton that looked surprisingly like his uncle was sprawled on the other bed.

Bile rose in his throat and he stumbled away, shielding his eyes. He hit the ground hard and attempted to breathe. His hands clenched and unclenched angrily, before he was able to get onto his hands and knees to crawl over to his dresser. All of his clothing was intact, fortunately, which allowed him to pull on a t-shirt and jeans quickly.

The trip to get back to his feet was coupled with him attempting to wrap his brain around the corpse in the other room. Taking a very deep breath, which was released in a coughing fit thanks to the stale, sour air around him, he forced his mind back into line and turned around. He felt his bravery waver a bit as he neared his uncle, but he brushed it off. It was obvious that the body had been there awhile, but that wasn't what was bothering him. He wanted to know what had killed his uncle, or more importantly, who.

Tracing over the flannel lightly, his hands searched for a blood, a blemish, anything. He found it quickly in a bite mark on his uncle's throat. Blinking he recoiled again and looked around.

"Vampires?" he shouted to the fates, who he had no doubt were laughing their asses off at him at the moment. Swearing mercilessly beneath his breath, he stormed out of the apartment and back down into the diner. His eyes roved over the town, which was bathed in what little sunlight that late autumn offered. A few of the different stores had been ravaged, destroyed, but a few were intact. One of these was Doose's Market. Looking for answers, he ran over to the store and pushed inside.

People who looked more like walking skeletons roamed through the shelves. He recognized Dean instantly, thanks to the boy's height, and walked over to him. "Dean?" he asked, not believing that he was lowering himself to asking Dean for help.

"Shit," Dean swore when he saw him and moved into a different aisle. As if it were a chain reaction, everyone else ran away too. Shocked and confused, he gazed around at the scared eyes that were watching him.

"What?" he demanded, but no answers were forthcoming. Shaking his head, he pressed back towards where he'd seen the bag boy dash off to. He reached out and grabbed his shoulder, turning him around to face him. "Dean!" He was about to rage on and insult him, but he had to stop. The fear that was written across his former rival's face was intense, terror.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he inquired, almost scared of himself.

"If I talk to you, she'll come, and she'll kill me," Dean whimpered.

"She? She who?" Jess fumed, but sighed when Dean dissolved into tears and panic, sitting on the ground and rocking back and forth. Jess shook his head and turned on his heel, marching out of the store. Everyone who saw him gave him a very wide distance.

Frowning and unable to figure out what was going on, he made his way to the Gilmore's house. A few people were gathered around the edge of the property. Taylor was there, along with Ms. Patty. They were holding crosses and sprinkling water on the property.

"And here I thought this town couldn't get weirder," he muttered, and stepped into the crowd. Kirk saw him and screamed, running to hide behind Taylor.

"You!" the older man shouted, and threw an entire bottle of the putrid water at his face.

"What the hell?" Jess shouted again, wiping it out of his eyes and spitting it out of his mouth. "What is wrong with you freaks?"

"Go see your mistress!" Taylor spat, but Jess could see the fear in his eyes.

"Mistress?" he repeated with a sigh and ran his hand through his wet hair, trying to get some of the water out. He shook his head and everyone stepped back another step.

"It's so sad… he was so good looking too," Patty muttered to herself.

"What is so sad? Can someone just tell me what the hell I walked into here?" Jess roared, feeling like he was hitting his breaking point.

"You don't remember?" someone from inside the crowd yelled. He recognized the voice but couldn't place it in his memory.

"No… I guess I hit my head on something," he reasoned, which gained him a few suspicious looks from the crowd, and then the person who called to him stepped out. It was Lane. She was different, more worn, she had a scar down one side of her face and a scowl on he features.

"Come with me," she told him, turning and walking back into the crowd.

"Why me?" he asked under his breath, and he could almost hear the creature's laughter on the wind.

As he attempted to push through the crowd, they all stepped away from him, giving him an open path. He hesitated for a moment, staring at their wide eyes, before shaking his head and walking after Lane. They walked for a few minutes until they reached the old Kim's Antique store. Instead of the nice, healthy, white picket fence that it used to have, it now had a fence created from crosses stabbed into the ground, with a gate created solely out of crosses in the center. He blew out a breath, wondering precisely what the hell he'd gotten himself in to for the millionth time since he'd been there.

"So…" he started when they entered into the house. Lane gave him a look, but led him deeper into the old store. Some of the furniture was still there, but all of it had holy items absolutely slathering it. "Jeez, I feel like I'm in a really bad horror movie."

"What do you remember?" she asked suddenly, causing him to jump a little bit. He brushed it off as though it hadn't happened and looked back at her.

"Nothing… I just came to in the diner, found Luke… went to Doose's, saw Dean, went to Rory's, saw you," he shrugged and shook his head.

"In other words, you remember all the people and places, but you don't remember what happened?" she attempted to clarify.

"Yeah… I guess," he replied, and reached out to touch one of the ornate crosses. She watched him carefully as his fingers ran gently down the wood. "This one's nice."

"You can touch it," she stated with a blink, as though this concept was completely foreign to her.

"Why wouldn't I?" he inquired, feeling annoyed again.

"Sit down," she commanded and went to the fridge. She pulled out some sodas and tossed one to him. He caught it and sat down at the table a bit hesitantly.

"Why's everyone so scared?" he asked hesitantly, knowing that his past questions hadn't precisely been answered with great responses.

"It's so… weird that you don't remember," she reminisced. He sighed, leaning back in his chair. Was he 'ever' going to get a straight answer out of these idiots?

"Lane," he growled, and she snapped back to attention, glaring at him warily.

"Right… well… about a year ago, when you first came to town, a vampire party raided the town. They took captives, including Rory and Lorelai," the words seemed painful for her, she winced. "At first you were apart of the resistance, until you learnt that they took Rory. Then you went over to them willingly and allowed them to turn you into a slave."

"I did what?" he deadpanned, staring at her in horror.

She shrugged. "You thought you loved her. But they didn't turn you. They kept you as their mortal eyes and ears when they saw your devotion to Rory. When Luke tried to keep you away from them, they killed him, when Dean tried to convince Rory to take him instead, she tortured him for days and days… when he came back, he acted as though the vampires had never come to town, unless you came around, then he started acting… strange," she continued.

"Yeah, I saw that," he agreed, remembering his short stint in the market.

"Taylor, Ms. Patty and I lead the resistance. Most of the rest of the town is in on it too… but none of them are brave enough to face them," Lane choked, and Jess frowned, unable to even believe half the shit he was hearing.

"This is insane," he muttered, sighing and looking up at the ceiling in frustration, hoping that Rory was having better luck wherever the hell she was. "So when do they come out?'

"At night," she deadpanned, and he glared at her.

"No shit, when at night?" he attempted to clarify.

"An hour after sundown, when the UV rays are gone," she answered, still glancing at him warily.

"It's sundown now," he stated plainly.

"You're right," she blinked.

"Would Mama Kim turn over in her grave if I stayed the night?" he smirked, but Lane glared at him.

"Don't you even talk about my Mama like that," she hissed at him and walked away. Jess grumbled and slammed his head on the table. He stayed there for at least a minute before he heard footsteps in the direction that Lane had gone. Lifting his head up, he caught sight of Lane for a second before blankets were shoved in his face. "You can sleep on the couch."

"How gracious," he mumbled and walked into the other room, where a moth-eaten couch was lying haphazardly amidst the old antiques. Sighing again, he sat down, causing a wave of dust to rise around him, and laid down on the old cushions. Before he knew what had happened, he heard himself being woken up by shaking hands. He'd fallen asleep.

"What?" he moaned in his sleepy state.

"She's here," Lane informed him, and his eyes snapped open in awareness that this wasn't just some screwed up dream that he'd had.

"Where?" he asked, attempting to get himself into some sort of fight-worthy state. He wasn't about to turn into a slave… or whatever the hell they wanted him to be.

"There," she pointed, her hand trembling, at the silhouette of a girl outside one of the windows. Her face was blurred by the film of the curtain, but he could see that it was Rory. Rising to his feet, he grabbed the first wooden object that was near him and walked to the window. He pushed the curtain to the side and looked outside.

"Hey baby," Rory whispered, but the sound carried to his ears easily. He blinked in shock, feeling a blinding wave of lust scream through his body. His strength seemed to disappear and his weapon dropped out of his lifeless fingers.

"Jess!" Lane cried from behind him, and he realized that he'd been halfway out the window. She was attempting to hold him back. Jerking out of her grasp, he pulled away and fell onto the couch, attempting to get his breathing under control. He heard laughing outside of the window and he felt his body twitch in another wave of lust.

"Get me away from the window," he begged, trying to crawl away on his own.

"Come on," Lane muttered, grabbing his arm and dragging him up the stairs. She took him into a room that appeared to have been her mother's, and allowed him to collapse on the bed.

"Shit," he cursed, pressing his face into the clean sheets. "Shit, shit, shit."

"Not expecting it?" Lane asked, her own voice was breathy and unsure.

"How can you fight her?" he sighed out, unable to find the air to speak normally.

"It's hard, but taking precautions helps," Lane told him and tossed him a cross on a silver chain.

Jess rolled the piece of jewelry over in his hand. Normally he hated any sort of decorations, especially crosses. They always felt so overused to him. Now… it was a different case. He had no idea how the hell he was supposed to deal with this world. He knew for a fact that every world had a way for him and Rory to be together, but this one was hard. Vampires were not his thing. Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, he attached the necklace in the back and let it dangle over his black shirt.

"So you're on our side," Lane said quietly, sitting down on the bed beside him.

"Yeah," he nodded with a frown, but couldn't stop thinking of the effect that Rory had had on him. It was instant, no warning. He'd just… felt it. His body still thrummed from the aftereffects. Two years ago he would have killed for that, suddenly he knew exactly why he'd given in so easily.

"Are you going to be able to sleep tonight?" Lane inquired, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Do you think she'll be back?" he returned, looking at the window in fear.

"You can sleep up here. She can't fly, so she won't bother you," she replied and got off the bed. She left the room without a word, slamming the door behind her.

Jess laid back, his eyes bloodshot and stinging. His hands curled slightly on the bed beside him, gripping the sheets between his fingers. Closing his eyes, he turned his head to the side and curled up.

"You did well," muttered the imp from somewhere in the room. Opening his eyes slowly, he realized that he was still in Lane's mother's room.

"What are you doing here?" Jess asked, stunned and not sure why the thing was there. Normally it would wait until after he'd left the alternate reality to taunt him.

"Oh… nothing. I just wanted to inform you that your girl failed her second one too. She got killed. It was funny. Car go boom!" the thing giggled and Jess rolled over to face it.

"She's… dead?" he whispered, his voice catching.

"No, no, Romeo. She's alive, well and bitching about you. You need to fail soon so that you can go into your third task and get out of my hair," it whined, sulking like a child.

"Why are you even doing this if you hate us so much?" Jess asked, astounded with the thing's behavior.

"I enjoy misery. Love is misery, thus, I enjoy watching people in love," it told him, going back to giggling.

"Is she scared?" Jess asked, turning the subject away from the creature again.

"Terrified, she doesn't like me much," it informed him casually, its dark eyes wide and innocent.

"Satan probably doesn't like you much," Jess grumbled and pressed his face into the pillow on Mama Kim's bed.

"No one likes me much. I'm cupid, I screw up everyone's lives," it laughed, maniacal and overjoyed.

"Jeez, if I stab you with a cross, will you go away?" he asked, looking at it out of the corner of his eye.

"Touchy… fine, I won't be so nice next time," it pouted and disappeared. Jess closed his eyes, hoping to get some more sleep, but Lane burst into his room what felt like seconds later.

"Time to wake up!" she shouted, ripping the covers off him.

"Doesn't anyone sleep around here?" he roared.

"Sure… the vampires have to," Lane shrugged, and he saw the bags under her eyes for the first time since he'd been there.

"Did they come back again?" he asked, a little bit more subdued.

"She was out there all night," Lane replied, her lips pressed tightly together.

"Where do they rest during the day?" he continued, grabbing the shirt that he'd tossed off from the other side of the bed and tugging it over his head.

"At their house," she shrugged.

"Great, how do you kill them?" he pressed, looking around the room for some sort of stake.

"What?" she gasped, staring at him like he was insane.

"How do you kill the vampires?" he repeated very, very slowly.

"You," she pointed at him, "can't."

"Why not?" he growled, annoyed with these strange circumstances.

"Because you love her," Lane said simply and Jess paused. He couldn't argue, could he?

"Shit!" he swore and threw something that had been on the dresser into the closet across the room. It made a very satisfying 'smash', which calmed him down a little bit.

"You could really kill her?" Lane asked, her nose crinkled in dislike.

"She killed Luke, she killed your mother, and she probably killed a hell of a lot more people than you're telling me… so… yeah. I could kill her," Jess grumbled, then opened the drawers in the room. There were still some of Lane's mother's clothes in there, but he shoved them away until he found what he was looking for: a stake. "Perfect."

"I just said you can't kill her," Lane reminded him as he stalked down the stairs and outside.

"That doesn't mean I can't kill Lorelai," he pointed out cheerfully. "I never did like her."

"Jess," Lane started, concerned.

"They sleep during the day?" he wanted to make sure.

"Yes, they sleep during the day," she agreed with a sigh and ran to catch up with him, putting a hand on his arm to stop him. "I'm coming with you."

"It's too dangerous," he objected, twirling the stake in his hand a little bit in distraction. Despite talking to her, his eyes were still drawn in the direction of the Gilmore house.

"But you can't kill Rory," Lane pointed out, yet again.

"And you can?" he inquired, finally taking his attention off the house and back to her.

"I'm not her soul mate," she shrugged.

"Wait… soul mate?" Jess gaped.

"The only way a vampire can have a mortal servant is if said mortal is the vampire's soul," Lane filled in as they rounded the corner to the house. There was the normal crowd standing outside, but this time they didn't seem quite as scared of him.

"Boo," he grumbled at them, and Kirk jumped behind Taylor again. Jess shook his head and stormed towards the house, Lane following quickly behind him. As they advanced, the small pack of people followed after them, whispering intensely.

"Jeez, some things never change," Jess chuckled as he opened the door. He looked around a little bit inside, checking to make sure that there weren't any vampires lingering around. "Honey, I'm home." His voice rang out in the empty house, echoing off the empty surfaces.

"Stop that," she scolded him, shoving him lightly into the house.

"Is there a basement or something?" Jess asked, noting that none of the windows had been boarded up.

"No, they walled themselves into Lorelai's room on the second story. That way they'll know if someone's coming up the stairs," Lane informed him, and he raised an eyebrow at her.

"You sure do know a lot about these two," he mumbled.

"They killed my mother, Jess. I have a right to know," she chided him bitterly and pushed past him towards the stairs.

"Will they wake up?" he inquired as he stared at the first step.

"I don't know," she admitted after a few seconds.

"Here," he said, kneeling down and cupping his hands together. "You were a cheerleader, weren't you?"

"You're going to launch me up the stairs?" she asked him incredulously.

"I'm going to launch you onto the first landing so that we can make a mad dash up the stairs and hopefully still contain some sort of element of surprise," he corrected her.

"Make sense," she shrugged after a second of staring to make sure he was serious, and stepped into his hand. He threw her backwards and she landed on the landing ungracefully. Jess moved around to the railing protecting the landing in question and hauled himself up and over it, beside Lane.

"Let's go?" he said after a moment, both of them staring at the stairs like something evil was waiting underneath to eat them.

"Guess it's too late to go back?" she whispered, and for the first time since they saw Rory in the window, he sensed fear. Jess knew for a fact that he could die in this world, but he would be alive in the next. He knew that this was nothing, a stepping stone, but Lane didn't. This was the end for her. If she died… she died. He blinked, admiring her bravery for a minute and then looked up at the stairs.

"I'm sorry for being such an ass to you," he said after another moment.

"I'm sorry that things turned out this way," Lane replied.

"I never thought I'd have to kill Rory to be with her," Jess shook his head, and they shared another moment.

"Let's go," she barked and with a nod they took off up the stairs at a run. When they reached the second landing, both of them were panting, but the vampires were no where in sight.

"Trick?" Jess suggested.

"Maybe," Lane shrugged as they moved carefully to Lorelai's room.

Jess reached out for the doorknob and opened the door gently. There, lying on the bed like angels, were Lorelai and Rory. They were wearing soft white dresses that were fluttering gently in the mid-afternoon breeze. The room was dark, the only light coming from the darkened hallway that they were currently inhabiting. Jess took a deep breath and stepped into the room. His hand instantly reached for the light switch and he turned it on, bathing the vampires in the glow of artificial light.

"Can you still do this?" Lane asked from behind him, and he realized he'd been staring for a few seconds.

Taking in a sharp breath, he placed a hand to his face and then dropped it with a nod. He grabbed the stake he'd been holding in his back pocket, where his book normally was, and moved to the bed. "In the heart?" he asked as he sat on the edge of the bed, staring at Lorelai and trying to keep his eyes off Rory.

"You'll need this too," she told him, and a large metal object landed beside him, sinking into the soft mattress.

"A knife," he stated, rolling it over in his hands. "Head or heart?"

"Both," Lane said, and he could hear the sadness in her voice. "She was my best friend."

"I know," he replied, surprised at the sympathy he could hear on his own voice.

"She was a lot more to you," Lane pointed out, her eyes rising to his.

"I know," he said again, then looked at Lorelai. "Time to go."

"How are we going to do this?" Lane asked, as though she was suddenly unsure of herself again.

"However we need to," Jess shrugged and dragged Lorelai's lifeless corpse towards him. Her arm was like wood in his hands, completely devoid of any warmth, any of the zest that he'd known the woman to posses in life. As strange as it was… he missed her.

"On three?" Lane asked, climbing onto the bed and sitting on Rory's stomach, Jess mimicked her with Lorelai and took a deep breath.

"Three," he muttered, not wanting to count down. In his right hand he held the stake, which he slammed into her chest with all his might, in the left was the knife, which he used to slit into her throat, using his weight to increase their impact.

Lorelai let out a strangled scream as the stake plunged between her ribs and into her heart. The knife got caught on her spine and he cringed in disgust as he continued to force it, snapping her neck and running it through to the other side. This memory… it would last a long time, even if he couldn't remember it consciously. Once her head was off, he used the knife to cut into her chest, tearing out her heart. Unaware of what he was doing, he threw the heart to the opposite side of the room and jumped off the bed. He keeled over and threw up, unable to hold in the guilt and the disgust at what he'd just done. There was blood everywhere, and it was increasing in volume by the second.

"Jess!" he heard screamed, and turned around in time to see Lane being thrown into a wall and Rory jerk up in the bed, hissing and wailing. She turned to look at him and he froze, his body begging to respond to her.

"Stay away from me," he warned her, clutching the knife in his hand firmly, although he knew that he wouldn't be able to use it against her. This wasn't real. He had to keep repeating the mantra over to himself. She wasn't there. It was just some stupid, cracked out vision. Despite this, it was difficult to breathe.

"Why?" she asked, her child's voice breaking his heart. He looked away from her clenching his jaw and trying desperately not to give in to her. Despite this, she floated off the bed and moved towards her. His eyes were drawn back to her distraught, mourning face, and he felt some of the ice around his heart melt.

"No, stay away!" he shouted again, backing towards the door. His eyes caught on Lane, who was lying unconscious near the door.

"Jess… come with me," Rory pleaded, and he gulped down the need, the blinding want, to go with her. He needed to get Lane out of there.

"No," he said with more bravery than he felt, staring her down.

"Jess," she begged again, and he felt his hand starting to loosen on the blade as she moved closer to him. He was aware of it, he could stop it. Staying deathly still, he waited until she had moved close enough to him, then he lifted the knife and plunged it into her chest. She screamed, he echoed her. He'd never felt anything like it. The knife in her chest felt like it was in his as well. She grabbed onto his arm for support as they both fell to the ground, his imaginary injury killing him just as much as it was killing her. He felt himself collapse, but it was like he was floating. His head hit the ground and he stared at Rory, who was smiling at him. She mouthed 'Thank you', just before his world shattered and he felt reality shift again.

-gGg-

Rory waited… she waited and she waited some more. Her hands were wringing in front of her and her heart was racing. The last world she'd been in… it had been terrible. Jess had never fallen in love with her. He hadn't been in love with anyone else… but there was still that empty look in his eyes. The brown, soul filled orbs that she'd fallen in love with were pitiless and cruel. It was what would have happened if she hadn't kissed him at Sookie's wedding.

In that one moment, they had fallen in love. The entire year replayed in her head, all the foreplay and the hints until that moment. Tears stained her coat's sleeves, like they had for the past few hours. It was like the entire purpose of this was to thrash her heart over and over. Clutching her knees tightly to her chest, she pressed her eyes against her legs, begging to forget again.

"Yeesh, I've never seen mortals so upset," the thing whined, it had just walked into the room sipping a milkshake.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked him, feeling like she was a prisoner in the thing's world, which she was, technically.

"Because you two idiots don't understand that you're meant to be together," it shrugged off and offered her some fries. She blinked at him in confusion but shook her head. "Eh… your loss. So, I just saw your loverboy. He's having tons of fun in his world, playing with that Korean chick that you two both know… what's her name? Oh, right… Lane. He's doing better than you, I still can't believe that you got hit by a car, his car."

"How can you be so cruel?" she gaped, staring at it in horror.

"It's my job. If I were to get attached to all my clients, I'd be a blubbery mess," it cackled, eating another fry and taking a sip of its milkshake as it sat by the window.

"Do you like doing this to people?" she whimpered, placing her head against her knees again.

"I would have much rather been the 'Angel of Death', but the class was full. This is a close second," he grinned and then looked around. "Uh oh… loverboy just died too."

"What?" Rory gasped, pulling herself out of her slump and scrambling to her feet.

"Stupid idiot… he had this one gift wrapped. What is it with the dark brooders being idiots and not liking a bit of a personality switch? Living with evil isn't so bad," it scoffed, just as Jess materialized on the ground in front of them. He was collapsed in a heap, clutching at his chest as though it were injured.

"Jess!" Rory shouted, running to his side and falling to her knees to help him up.

"Rory?" he asked, staring at her with a mixture of confusion and fear on his face.

"What's wrong?" she inquired, not liking the fear.

"Shit," he breathed, pulling her to his body and holding her tightly. Tears seared along his face and he ran his hands through her hair.

"What happened?" she cooed as she allowed him to weep. She'd never seen Jess cry before.

"You don't want to know," he told her, shaking his head and gathering himself. He looked over at the creature, who was still grinning at them.

"I hate that thing," she supplied lifelessly as they both stared at it.

"Do I have to separate you again?" it pouted, but its eyes were still glinting manically.

Rory got to her feet, pulling Jess with her. Their hands remained firmly latched and they looked at each other for a moment. A pause, then they kissed softly and released their hands.

"I love you," he told her apprehensively.

"I love you too," she replied, just as the world dissolved for the third time that night.


	4. Chapter Three: Verily

**Know You're Alive**

**Chapter Three**

**Verily**

**Rated T**

"So you'll call me?" Rory asked as his reality shifted into focus. He was already sitting, so he didn't get the pleasure of having his knees cracked together, but it didn't help his stomach from shifting. His eyes flickered around and recognized the bus… the bus that had taken him from Stars Hollow, and from Rory. That bus had ruined his life.

"Rory?" he gasped, seeing her out of the corner of his eye. She didn't seem to have anything wrong with her, there was nothing wrong with him… so what was the screw up with this world?

"Jess, are you okay?" she inquired as she placed a hand on his shoulder to steady him, to keep him from falling off the seat.

"Yeah, fine. This is your stop, c'mon," he told her, grabbing her arm and glancing down at the bag beneath the seat. Her eyes fell to it as well and she seemed to deflate beneath his grasp.

"You're leaving," she stated.

"No, I'm not," he assured her, grabbing the bag and rushing to the doors that would take them off the bus. He leapt off and felt relief like he'd never felt before. His eyes closed and he breathed in the air of Connecticut. Nothing had ever been so sweet in his life.

"Are you okay?" Rory whispered as she descended the stairs of the bus. There were tears in her eyes and her voice was shaking.

"I'm better than okay," he murmured as he looked over at her. She was perfect… here, in this reality, where he hadn't hurt her. One of his hands reached for hers, but she jerked it back.

"You were going to leave, and you weren't going to tell me," she said again, her eyes showing her betrayal.

"Yeah… but everything's different now," he assured her, backing away and sitting down on the bus's bench.

"I have to go to school," she informed him and turned to walk away.

"Rory, Rory wait!" he shouted after her and followed her, leaving his bag behind.

"Why? So that you can hurt me again?" she accused, and he felt the words like a slap against his face.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving. I'm here, I'll make this work," he attempted to tell her again, but she scoffed at him.

"I can't believe you," she cried, wiping away the tears that were streaming down her face.

"Rory, please," he begged, which caused her to stop. She turned to look at him with an untrusting frown.

"I have to go to school," she said again, but he could tell that it was the last thing on her mind.

"I flunked out of high school, Rory… Luke kicked me out," he said gently.

"Why didn't you come to me?" she screamed at him. "I'm your girlfriend! That's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to come to me when you need help!"

"Right, and Lorelai's just going to let me sleep on your couch? Jeez, Rory, don't you think I thought of that?" he sighed, pressing a hand to his forehead and rethinking that day. If there had been one moment in his history that he would have changed, it would have been this one.

"No, probably not! But I still could have helped you!" she said again, but her voice was raspy from all the screaming and crying she'd done.

"Stop, Rory, just stop! Do you have any idea how hard this is for me? I can't take you to prom, I failed high school… I made an ass out of myself at Kyle's party, I fought Dean, and then my 'father' came to see me yesterday," he informed her, but cut her off when she tried to interrupt him. "No, you don't get to be self-righteous with me this time. Luke kicked me out, Rory, that means that I have no where to go. My mother doesn't want me, my dad doesn't know me, this town hates me and my girlfriend's family wants me lynched. Tell me, just fucking tell me what you'd do in my situation."

They both stood staring at each other, panting from shouting and angry because of their situation. Tears pooled in her eyes and she looked away from him, wrapping her arms around her waist. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself for shouting at her like that.

"Sorry… you know what? Maybe this was a stupid idea. Maybe I should have just taken the bus," he snarled, then turned to walk away.

"So that's it?" Rory called after him, and he felt his heart break.

"No, what's 'it' is up to you," he called back without turning around. He was going to go back to Stars Hollow, he was going to sit in that God-awful school, he was going to graduate, and he was going to make right by Luke. Even now, a year and a half after the fact, he still wished he could have just gone back and dealt with the cards that fate had given him. Maybe then he wouldn't have been stuck in the ratty apartment building in New York, fighting to stay alive. Even if he wasn't, at least he'd have another chance at life with Rory.

"Jess, wait," he heard behind him, and he stopped. Her footsteps were soft on the gravel, barely making a noise as she stepped beside him. They stayed there for a minute, both looking down at staring at their shoes. "I'm not doing anything important this block… let's go get some coffee?"

"Sure… okay," he nodded, feeling the tiniest spark of hope in his stomach. But the spark was soon extinguished. What the hell was wrong with this world? It was perfect… but that was never the way things worked.

-gGg-

Rory felt herself pool into her new reality, whatever it was. Her eyes flickered around her, recognizing a few signs telling her that she was lying in her room, on her bed. Her hands went to her hair, testing the length. It was long, but layered. That meant senior year. She leapt off the bed and rushed to the mirror, checking her appearance to make sure of what she was thinking.

Her hair was long, floating and her face was still covered in last night's make up. Rushing to the washroom, she did a quick pampering job and stepped into the kitchen to check the time. It was barely six o'clock, which meant that Luke's would be open and she'd be able to talk to Jess without her mother there. She desperately needed to talk to him, to figure out this world before it got complicated like the last two. Determination ran through her bloodstream, she wasn't about to be lose or be killed the first day again.

"Luke!" she gasped as she ran into the diner, attracting looks from a few different people. "Can I speak to Jess? Is he upstairs?"

"Jess?" Luke asked her, raising a questioning eyebrow and looking at her like she was insane.

"Yes… Jess, your nephew," she informed him with the slightest hints of an eye roll.

"Do you need coffee? I think that you need coffee," he mumbled, grabbing a cup and pouring it for her.

"You're 'giving' me coffee?" she asked incredulously.

"It's on the house," he replied, still looking at her like she'd grown a second head.

"Okay," she drew out the word and headed for the curtain.

"Where are you going?" he snapped, stepping in front of her and blocking her way.

"To see Jess," she said again, motioning up the stairs. The bell rang behind them and she saw Lane run in. She looked beyond happy and was waving around tickets.

"Lane, great, tell Rory that she needs to get her brain checked. She seems to think that Jess is staying here. Why the hell would the boy-wonder be here?" he grumbled, going back to the diner.

"Wait… boy-wonder?" Rory deadpanned, staring after him and feeling her heart drop.

"Come on, I have some amazing news!" Lane squealed, ignoring Luke's comment and dragging Rory out of the diner, coffee and all. Luke didn't object.

"What's going on?" Rory asked.

"I have tickets!" Lane exclaimed, waving around the tickets again.

"Yes you do," Rory agreed with a nod and a frown.

"I have tickets to Obsidian Lake!" Lane repeated, her enthusiasm wavering a little bit at the blank look on her friend's face. "Obsidian Lake! Y'know?"

"Umm…" Rory sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead in confusion. "Listen, Lane, I need to tell you something, and it's going to sound really, really weird and you're probably not going to believe me, but I have to tell 'someone', or else I'm never going to get through this."

"Right," Lane agreed, but it was obvious she had no idea what was going on.

"Lane, I'm from… well… I guess we could say that I'm from the future," she began, and her friend's eyes bulged. "But it's not this future, it's a completely different future with different people who do different things. Except you because you seem to be the same and Luke is the same, but I'm here to see Jess because I love him and he loves me and we're trying to get around this huge mistake that he made last year… or this year, or something, but now I'm here, and I can't find Jess. Where is he?"

"Uh…" Lane began, and gave Rory the tickets. Confused, Rory took them and looked down at the names of the band members. Her heart stopped when she read the names, under 'Lead Guitarist' was 'Jess Mariano'.

"Oh no," she whimpered, crumpling down onto a bench and holding her head in her hands. Lane sat down beside her and they stayed there in complete silence for a few minutes.

"Well… this is weird," Lane broke the silence after a few minutes of ground-staring.

"I need to see him," Rory muttered after a few seconds, and looked down at the tickets. "These are for tomorrow night."

"Yes they are," Lane confirmed, and they stared at each other for a few minutes. "This is really weird."

"Yup," Rory agreed with a half-hearted nod.

"So you're from the future?" Lane repeated, still skeptical.

"Yup," Rory said again, sighing and putting her head in her hands after putting the coffee on the bench beside her.

"Wow," Lane sighed. "So… who is Jess in your world?"

"He's Luke's nephew… he got sent to Stars Hollow from New York because he was being a jerk, then he came here and stole me from Dean, and then left… he reappeared a year later, told me he loved me, left again and then came back," Rory explained, knowing that this Lane probably wouldn't remember a word of this after she left.

"The… er… other you would have killed for that. Jess was always her favorite," Lane informed her, obviously thinking of her other friend. "But… Dean? As in tall-Dean? You dated him?"

"Yeah, for two years," Rory agreed, then thought of him in the current future. "He's married now, though."

"Wow," Lane said for the hundredth time since she'd first seen her.

"I-I think I'm going to go, I need to get ready," Rory said and stood up.

"For what?" Lane questioned.

"Well… today is Friday, isn't it?" Rory questioned, frowning.

"Yeah…" Lane agreed, obviously not understanding.

"School?" Rory questioned.

"Oh… school! I guess you had that in your other world too?" Lane teased, and Rory couldn't help but smile.

"Yup… off to the slaughtering house," Rory sighed, and then thought about Friday night dinner. She'd have to find some way out of it this time. The unfortunate truth was, she had no idea what other changes had been made to this world.

-gGg-

"So you were going to California," Rory attempted to confirm. She had a frown on her face that said this was very difficult to digest. He sighed and looked away, slouching a little in his seat.

"I was going to see if I could find my dad," he repeated for the third time that afternoon. They had tried other topics, but she always came back to this one. Even books couldn't get her off the rant.

"In California," she said again, and he sighed.

"Rory… I'm sorry, I was being an idiot. Can we leave California alone? I'm not going," he told her.

"I have to get back to school," she said after a minute, still not looking at him.

"Do you want me to walk you?" he offered, pretty sure that he knew what the change in this world was.

"Okay," she nodded, but he could hear the tears on her voice again.

The walk was silent, their footsteps the only sound on the empty streets. As Chilton loomed before them, he gazed at it impassively. This was her school, her world. She was going to Yale next year, and he wasn't going with her.

"Rory," he sighed, stopping on the edge of her school. He didn't want to go inside. It wasn't his thing, even if it did mean spending a few more miserable minutes with her. "If you want to call this thing off… I'd understand."

"Jess…" she started, but was unable to finish. "I think that we need a break."

Instead of responding, he nodded, flinching at her tears and turning away. He didn't say goodbye, he didn't respond, he didn't promise to call. It was all worthless, anyway. He wouldn't do it. She knew it, he knew it, everyone knew it. This was the change. This was his brutal task to overcome. She didn't trust him anymore. Somehow that was worse than her being a vampire.


	5. Chapter Four: Scary

**A/N: One simple note... don't kill me. This isn't going to be as bad as it sounds at the end... trust me.**

**Know You're Alive**

**Chapter Four**

**Scary**

**Rated T**

"What are you doing here?" came from behind him, and he turned around to face his uncle. The moment was a severe case of déjà vu. Wasn't it just a year ago that he was in this exact same position?

"I'm staying," he shrugged, not really prepared to tell him why.

"What?" Luke gasped, the look in his eye saying that he really hadn't expected Jess to agree.

"Has your offer been retracted?" Jess snapped. He was tired, nay, exhausted. The conversation with Rory had taken a lot more out of him than he'd have liked to admit.

"No, it's just…" Luke started, but obviously didn't want to start.

"You didn't think I'd actually come back," he snarled, and turned to the door. He grabbed his jacket and brushed past his uncle.

"Where are you going?" his uncle grumbled.

"To the school," he answered back, only turning to see the shocked look on Luke's face.

"Then you're really staying?" Luke blinked, stunned.

"No, I'm lying and going to waste another year of my life for the good of my health," he shot back as he slammed down the stairs of the diner and towards the school.

-gGg-

Today had been, in short, hell. Her mother was married to Max Medina, Luke was miserable as hell and her mother and he weren't talking anymore. Her grandfather had died, which she took particularly hard, and she'd managed to get out of dinner by fainting gracefully. The next three hours had been spent in the hospital, convincing people that she wasn't about to keel over and die. Now she was at home, sitting in her bed sobbing her eyes out. Her mother had attempted to come in to talk to her, but she refused to even acknowledge her. Everyone was stunned, but there was nothing she could do about it. Three days… she had three days to make a superstar understand that she was his true love. This was going to be interesting.

"Rory?" someone whispered, tapping at her window.

"Lane?" she groaned, dragging herself from her bed and going to the window hesitantly.

"Rory, let's go, we have to leave now if we want to get to the concert!" she hissed loudly.

"I thought it wasn't until tomorrow?" Rory returned, tripping over her words as she stumbled to open the window.

"Yeah, but not if we want good seats and don't worry about my mom, Lorelai has it covered," Lane chirped happily, looking like she was about to explode in happiness.

"How are we getting there?" Rory asked as she gathered some clothes and tossed them out the window to her friend.

"We'll take your car… you do know you have a car, right?" Lane asked, and they both looked into the driveway. There, standing proudly in the moonlight, was the car that Jess trashed two years ago. Her heart clenched painfully and she had to turn away, shoving more clothes into a bag.

"Yeah, I know," she whispered beyond her pain. Her voice was far away, another time and another place. Tears stung her eyes but she forced them back. This was no time to get emotional.

"Ready?" Lane questioned as Rory had shoved all her party-clothes out the window and was checking around for anything else. Her eyes hesitated on a box on her vanity. Slowly, she moved towards it and picked it up. "Oh yeah… you have a boyfriend."

"Dean?" Rory inquired, remembering the corn starch moment vividly.

"He's in your world too?" Lane inquired, obviously still having no concept of what was going on.

"Yeah," Rory shrugged off and turned to her friend with a small smile, placing it back on her vanity and jumping out the window. "Let's go."

Lane squealed a little bit as they ran into the car. "Alright, I brought some of their music so that you'll know what you're listening to. Jess Mariano writes all the songs, he's amazing," she gushed, plugging in some sort of fancy plug in that made and CD player run in a cigarette lighter.

Rory attempted to smile again, but the memory that the car brought up as well as the sounds coming from the radio made her have to fight back the tears harder. Desperately she wished that she could go back, that she could turn time around and have just said 'yes' to Jess. Why didn't she? If she was willing to go through all this for him than wouldn't it be fitting that she just go with him to New York and endure that hell instead?

While Lane jabbered on about the band, Rory was lost in her thoughts about a world without Jess in her life. How would her life have been different? It would have been empty, cold… so, predictable and linear. Nothing different, nothing passionate and wild, because he was that part of her life, he was the part of her that spun out of control occasionally and let its hair down. He was her fire. Slowly, she came to realize something. This wasn't her life… she wasn't here to win over this Jess, this rock star, she was here to prove to the fates that she was worthy of the boy that she loved, but what did this prove? The 'cupid' said that it would prove her love, but it had been lying before.

Frowning, she slowed the car and looked at Lane apologetically.

"Get out of the car," she ordered her softly.

"What?" Lane deadpanned, stopping her constant explanations in favor of staring at her strange out of world friend.

"Get out of the car," Rory repeated again, looking at her out of the corner of her eye.

"Why?" Lane prodded, seeing the maniacal glint in Rory's eye.

"Don't ask questions, just get out of the car!" she snapped in anger, and Lane's eyes grew huge. She opened the door without another question and hopped out. Rory took in a deep breath, holding back her tears again, and then looked at on the oncoming traffic. She revved the engine and swung up to sixty, then ninety, and then buried the needle and hurtled herself at an oncoming semi-truck. There was the feeling of something really heavy smashing against her chest, a foul taste in her mouth, and then nothing.

-gGg-

Jess sat on the bridge, smoking another cigarette, his third pack that day, and thought about his situation. He'd ruined this life, he knew that. But… his other life. True, he was a runner, but that didn't mean that he was useless. There was the book that he was writing. It was shit, but at least it was his. What did he have here? Nothing, just… a skeleton of a life that could have been, but what was three days in a life that he could never have?

"Whatcha thinking?" someone asked him from the edge of the bridge, and he turned up to see Rory looking at him apprehensively.

"If Doose's will sell me another pack," Jess muttered as he pulled out another smoke and lit it with the end of the other. He then crumpled up the empty pack and pulled out a new one. He still had a fifth package on his body, but he thought that he was probably going to be out here for awhile, so he had to stock up.

"How many of those have you had today?" she inquired lightly.

"Probably too many," he shrugged and flicked the old one into the lake casually.

"Luke said that you re-enrolled in high school," she stated as she drifted towards him.

"Is that so?" he evaded, attempting to ignore her.

"Jess… I'm sorry that I can't do this anymore, but you have to give me time," she told him as she sat down beside him.

"I don't have time," he muttered, looking away from her.

"What do you mean?" she asked curiously, attempting to capture his eyes with her own.

"It means that this is a fucked up world and that I don't want to be here. You're not Rory; you're not 'my' Rory. Damnit!" he cursed, standing up and backing away from her. "I want my life, I want 'my' life, the one I fucked up and the one I have to fix."

The Rory sitting on the bridge looked at him like he was completely insane. He couldn't blame her. He probably looked pretty psychotic right now.

"They used to drown people to see if they were good or evil. Do you think I'd float?" he inquired brightly, as though he hadn't just asked the technicalities of drowning himself.

"Jess…" she started, but he couldn't take it anymore. He nodded at her and flicked his last cigarette away before diving into the water and deliberately taking a deep breathe of the water. It stung. It hurt like a bitch, but nothing like what he was already feeling. He felt a dizzy and high at the same time. There were hands grabbing at him, someone was trying to save him. He shoved them off and breathed again, gasping and unable to feel anything anymore. It was cold for summer. That was his last thought as he felt the familiar shift in reality.

-gGg-

They sat on the ground, one of them dripping wet and the other in a state of shock. Neither looked at the other, neither sure what had just happened; one moment they were hugging, the next moment they were on either side of her dorm room. Their eyes slowly rose to meet one another's and the same question passed through both of them. The question soon disappeared, replaced by a strange feeling. It was like a whole month had passed in that second, and that the world had returned to its axis only a few seconds ago to drop them off before continuing on again.

"Jess…?" Rory asked, confused.

"I don't know," he shook his head, rising to his feet and shaking off some of the water on his form.

"You're wet," she pointed out blankly.

"And you look like you were ripped to pieces," he pointed out, motioning towards her clothing, which did indeed look like she'd been hit by a train. Standing up, she attempted to arrange her scraps of clothing so that they were covering the essentials.

"I-I don't know what happened," she admitted, looking around in a state of panic.

"I don't know either," he accepted, but he was painfully clam. There was something familiar with this situation. It was the same gathered clam that he'd felt when he told her that he loved her; the same feeling of numb denial that he could never return to her life. "I love you."

"What?" she gasped, breaking out of her panic for a moment to look at him.

"I love you," he repeated, helpless against his own stupidity.

"Jess," she sighed, shaking her head and turning away.

"I don't care if you say it back, I know you feel it," he assured her, although he didn't know how he knew. It was just this… feeling he had.

"I love you too," she blurted, her body seeming to react without her consent. "I-I..." She couldn't figure out a way of taking it back without sounding terrible and cold and cruel, so she just stared there staring at him.

After a few seconds, he nodded and turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" she called after him, feeling a tight ball of pain in her stomach.

"Something tells me that this isn't the time, or the place," he explained, breaking into a run as he left the building.

"Jess!" she shouted, chasing after him. The pair attracted a few stares from what lingering people there were on the campus. The boy being soaking wet, leaving a trail of water droplets in his wake, and the girl looking like a werewolf had ripped her clothes apart. It was quite the sight.

"Go home, Rory," he snapped, pulling open the door to his car.

"But… I am home," she shrugged helplessly, walking nearer to him.

"What?" he asked the shock that was on her face now apparent on his.

"I don't know how or why… but I just feel like I can't let you run away again," she explained, staring at him with tears in her eyes.

"I'll be back," he attempted to tell her.

"If I let you leave… you won't be," she denied, shaking her head and stepping into his bubble. He stepped back, but only hit the side of his car.

"Rory," he attempted to object, but she was already kissing him. It didn't take long before they were kissing in earnest, pulling each other roughly and trying to get the upper hand in the battle. When Jess opened his eyes, he saw something flash before them. "Rory…"

"What?" she asked, and then turned around. Sitting before them was a demonic little creature. It was bathed in a white light, and slowly its skin smoothed and turned into a creamy white. Its ragged clothes were torn away, replaced by a white robe and in its hand was a scroll. It looked at them with a look that as a mixture between calculation and gratefulness.

"Don't screw up again," it warned in a hissing tone, and then disappeared.

Neither youth had time to respond as they were soon knocked unconscious. A few hours later, Rory and Jess were lying in a hospital, across from each other. Jess's eyes opened first, and he frowned at his surroundings. He hated hospitals.

"Rory?" he rasped, trying to get her attention.

Rory woke up a few seconds later, but her reaction was more vivid. She jerked in her bed and looked around to make sure that there were no toga-clad demons running around.

"Jess?" she asked as she heard him call her name. "Where are we?"

"Hospital," he informed her, but couldn't tell her much more thanks to a large amount of coughing that took over.

"Why are we here?" she demanded, scared.

"I don't know," he conceded, and looked at the door, trying to get the coughing to calm down.

Neither said anything as they heard someone approach, who was talking to someone else who sounded suspiciously like Lorelai.

"I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do for either of them," he protested earnestly against the woman's terrible, unintelligible shrieks. Then there was shouting that was most definitely Luke's.

"That's my nephew in there! Are you telling me that you're just going to sit there and let him die!?" he demanded angrily.

"There's nothing we can do… your nephew has quite a bit of liquid in his lungs, and outside of surgery, there is nothing we can do about it," the doctor explained, and Jess felt his stomach fall. Liquid in his lungs, was that why he'd been so drenched?

"Then take him into surgery!" Lorelai now, shrieking at the top of her lungs again.

"We can't," he doctor attempted to deflect, but there was the sound of a scuffle outside the door as it opened and the doctor flung himself inside to avoid Lorelai, who was attempting to scratch his eyes out.

"Rory!" she burst out when she saw her daughter's eyes were open. "Hey sweetie!" She said softer, as though she hadn't been about to commit a homicide.

"Jess," Luke grunted, and Jess grunted in return, trying not to be as scared as he sounded. All the grunt did was offer him more coughing. He continued coughing until he had to turn to his side and leaned on the pillow, it didn't stop. In the end he was forced to lie on his side, away from Rory, while he attempted to cough out whatever was bothering him. By the time he was done, there was a decent size puddle of blood by his face. He felt the coppery taste on the inside of his mouth and blinked in horror.

"Doctor!" Luke shouted, holding onto Jess's shoulder while he stared at the liquid in shock.

"We should have him moved to another room," the doctor said quickly.

"No!" Rory screamed, and she attempted to get out of her bed. She wasn't coughing, so whatever was wrong with him couldn't have been the same thing that happened to her. In a few seconds, with help from Lorelai, she was out of her bed and on her way to Jess. When she got there, however, she saw the blood and went weak against her mother's side. "Jess?"

He didn't say anything, he looked away, turning to his other side and curling up. Was this what it felt like to die?

"No!" Rory shouted again as the doctors attempted to take him out of the room. "No, no, no, no, no, no!"

"Rory, you have to stop," her mother attempted to convince her as she chased her daughter who was chasing the doctors who were taking Jess to a different room.

"Jess!" she screamed inside, not listening to anyone and chasing after the bed as it was turned into the ICU. When it stopped, she blinked back her tears and tore to his side.

"She can't be in here," one of the doctors protested, but she shoved him away and curled up next to him on the bed.

"Jess?" she asked hopefully, her eyes shining with tears.

"You shouldn't be here," he coughed, more blood flecking on his lips.

"I don't care," she shrugged and held onto his hand.

"Sounds good," he agreed, smirking just slightly as his eyes fluttered shut. For a blinding second, she thought he was dead, but then she felt his hand squeeze around hers and felt comforted again. She pulled him to her tightly and laid her head against his chest, trying to hold back tears.


	6. Chapter Five: What?

**A/N: YAY! I'm not dead!!! In fact, it almost appeared that people enjoyed it. Thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed. You are my life's blood. I'm sorry that I can't respond to each and every one of you, but I'm already going to be skinned alive for staying awake until three to write this chapter. Also... this chapter is very, very strange. A touch OOC, but it's been difficult for me to get the chance to write unless it's at two in the morning.**

**Know You're Alive**

**Chapter Five**

**What?**

**Rated T**

Rory woke to feel Jess's hand tight around hers. His body was taught as it could be without him running to the other side of the globe. When she opened her eyes, she leaned on one of her elbows to look at him as though to see what was wrong, but his eyes were glued at something at the foot of the bed. She turned to see the strange looking demon/angel thing. At first she was scared, but then her memories of the past twenty four hours returned and she blinked in annoyance.

"Why are you here?" she grumbled, hugging Jess closer to her.

"You two fucked up again. That means I'm here to keep my wings," he explained, and the strange feathery substance on his back bristled, as though it was angry at them as well.

"We didn't fuck up, you did," Jess attempted to say, but his voice was rasping and strangled.

"No, no… if you two had actually played by the rules and stopped killing yourself, then this would have been completely different. I've been told to give you two one more chance, and only one. But you don't get to choose this time," he said in a hissing voice. After he said it, he started laughing evilly.

"No," the two of them said in unison. Rory screamed it, holding her Jess to her even tighter. She never wanted to leave his side again. This was her Jess, the real Jess, the one that actually loved her without the aid of whatever magic this freak used. Jess attempted to yell it, but all he could manage was a whisper.

"No?" it asked curiously. "But he's going to die."

"I don't care," Jess whispered, and his arm wrapped weakly around Rory's waist.

"What?" Rory gasped, not believing what he just said.

"Rory…" Jess trailed off, but all she could do was stare at him in horror.

"You can't die," she protested.

"He doesn't have to," the thing reminded her innocently.

"What… what do I have to do?" Rory asked after a minute of staring at Jess. Her hand traced over his face solemnly, attempting to memorize her Jess so that she could save him.

"Go back in time… as you always have," it explained with a shrug.

"Same rules?" Rory attempted to clarify, praying that they weren't, but knowing full well that that was precisely how it was going to work.

"Not exactly," it remedied, shocking both of them. "This time you'll go back together."

"What?" Rory blinked. "As in… to the same reality?"

"Yes," it hissed, angry at the fates for this.

"Do it," Jess said instantly, his hand squeezing almost painfully around hers.

"Really?" it inquired, raising an eyebrow at Rory.

"Do it," she confirmed, holding tightly onto his hand.

"As you wish," it grumbled, obviously not happy that they actually got a chance at happiness.

Rory felt that terrible yank in her stomach and the bed shifted out from beneath them.

-gGg-

Rory found herself standing in a hallway, her dorms hallway, to be more specific. Confused, she looked up, expecting Jess, but seeing Dean instead. Her breath caught in her throat and she looked towards the entrance to the dorm.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, curious as to her sudden stop in talking.

"Huh?" she asked, turning to look at him in fear. Was she really where she thought she was? There was the sound of a car in the background. It was Jess's car. Her heart leapt in her throat and she felt tears starting to gather in her eyes.

"Rory?" Dean prodded again, and she looked up at him in shock. She'd totally forgotten that he was there.

"Could you go?" she requested bluntly.

"What?" he snapped, not liking being brushed off so easily.

"Please… don't question me, just… please, go," she pressed, pointing towards the exit, just as Jess entered into the building. They both stared at one another.

"Rory?" he whispered, his voice full and his again.

"Jess," she answered with a nod, tears sprouting to her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Dean snarled at Jess on his way out of the dorm.

"Dean, please," Rory said again, having forgotten he was there again.

"Whatever," he growled at her, pushing roughly past Jess.

Jess didn't seem to notice. He ran towards her and her towards him. They met somewhere in the middle, their hands wrapping around the other as they kissed. It was fiery and passionate. Rory felt tears on her face and she pulled back to see that he was fighting them back as well.

"Are you okay?" she half-laughed, half-cried.

"I love you," he deflected, kissing her again and wrapping his arms around her.

"I love you too," she assured him, and they continued kissing desperately.

"Lovebirds," something grumbled from behind him. The couple jumped at being watched at and turned to see the little demon sitting on the ground in front of them again.

"Can't you just… leave?" Rory pleaded, hating it and loving it at the same time.

"I want nothing more," it grumped, glaring at the two of them sulkily while its wings bristled in the breeze. "But I was told that I had to come and 'express my gratitude' for the gaining of my wings. As much as I hate to admit it, my master was right."

"What do you mean?" Jess asked, wrapping his arms around Rory's waist and holding her tight against him. Rory felt herself distracted just slightly at how strong they were again, not the weak ones that held her in the hospital, not the others from her dreams. No… this was the real Jess, this was her Jess. She smiled despite herself and hugged his arms tightly.

"Look at you two, you're disgusting!" it exclaimed, watching their expressions.

"Why are you cupid if you hate love so much?" Rory asked incredulously.

"Love is part pain, part happiness. Only true loves really gain top of the plateau, satisfaction," it explained as though it were in plain sight. "My master believed that you two were meant for each other, so it sent your mother," it pointed at Rory, "to Stars Hollow, and made his mother," it pointed at Jess, "send him here too. You fucked up the first two years, and then he fucked up again, but my master made me come back and help you over and over and over. Said that you were 'made for each other' and… it looks like he was right." It shivered as though the very idea of it was sending disgust-waves through him.

"Thank you," Rory said honestly.

"I still hate you," Jess shrugged, looking at it as though it should burn in hell.

"The feeling's mutual," it growled at him, and there was a slight test of wills. Rory had the instant idea that there was something she wasn't getting there.

"Is this the last time we'll be seeing you?" Rory questioned, looking from Jess to the thing again.

"If you know what's good for you," it muttered, and stood up from its sitting position on the ground. "Duty calls."

"Are we going to remember any of this?" Jess asked bluntly.

"Do you want to?" it hesitated. The supreme arrogance that generally covered it was gone, replaced by a sincere curiosity. Something told that the thing didn't have a very good grasp of human emotions.

"Yes," Jess answered quickly.

"Yeah," Rory nodded as well. She wanted a reminder of what it was that made them so special. Those days were some of the worst in her life, when she didn't have him. It killed her, and it would remind her that some things were worth dying, multiple times, for.

"Good luck," it told them, sincere for the first time since she'd met the little creep, and then it disappeared in a cloud of feathers.

Rory stepped away from him in time to grab one of them. The second that she did, all of the others disappeared. Holding it up to the light, she saw them inside it. She saw their life, their history. It seemed as though she could fall into the space that the feather provided.

"Rory?" Jess asked when she'd been staring at it for over a minute.

"What?" she jumped, and then noticed the feather in her hand, which she then shoved into her pocket.

"Rory…" he began again, and then hesitated in frustration.

"What?" she questioned curiously.

"Not now… but some day… soon, would you marry me?" he proposed, looking insecure and alone in that moment. His hands were shoved in his pockets. His eyes were downcast with his hair hanging into them awkwardly.

"Did you just…" she gaped, staring at him with her jaw dropped.

Instead of answering, he merely nodded numbly, terrified of her response. Instead of words, she leapt into his arms, her arms yanking him against her. They kissed furiously for a minute and somehow she got turned around so that she was pressed against a wall.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes," Rory whispered between kisses, and they both laughed at their clumsy proposal.

"I love you," he said again, his breath catching just slightly.

"I love you too," she confirmed, and they just stared into each others eyes for a minute.

"Rory, what are you doing?" Lorelai asked as she stepped into the dorm, glaring at Jess.

Rory jumped for the millionth time that hour and Jess attempted to pull away from her, to give her room to talk. Instead of letting him, she yanked one of his hands to her and tugged him in close. His arms wrapped around her waist from behind and he held her against him solidly.

"Rory?" Lorelai blinked again, obviously stunned by this display of affection.

"I'm getting married," Rory whispered, in awe of the words.

"What?" Lorelai deadpanned, her face paling by seven shades.

"What's going on in here?" Luke demanded as he stormed through the door. He made it in enough time to catch Lorelai as she fainted dead away in his arms.

Rory leapt out of Jess's arms and ran towards her mother and Luke. She knelt with him as he placed her on the ground and attempted to shake her mother back into consciousness. Lorelai's eyes flashed open a few seconds later, and her skin seemed to regain a little bit of colour.

"Please tell me that what I just heard was a really, really bad dream," she begged, grabbing Rory's jacket and yanking her down.

"Mom," Rory scolded, turning to look at Jess, who was standing uncomfortably on the edge of the scene.

"What happened? Luke growled, looking at Jess accusingly.

"They're getting married," Lorelai whimpered in denial, what little colour her skin had regained fading away again.

"What?" Luke deadpanned in much the same way Lorelai did, minus the fainting.

"Jeez," Jess grumbled, looking away in frustration.

"Married?" Luke repeated in a mixture of horror and awe. "How, where… with what?"

"I don't know," Rory gushed, as though this was the clearest thing in the world.

"What?" Lorelai gasped, still unable to wrap her mind around this strange happening.

"I don't know," Rory said again, standing up and trailing over to Jess hesitantly. The memories of the past twenty four hours trailed through her mind like a dream. When she kissed him, she could taste all of the memories on her tongue and that made her deepen the kiss.

"She's really getting married," Lorelai stared, unable to keep herself from stating it again.

"Wow," Luke replied. His mind was racing with all the factual matters of it.

"Let's go?" Jess suggested, nodding his head towards the entrance of the building.

Rory bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah," she agreed, and their hands laced together unconsciously. When they turned around, they were shocked to see Luke and Lorelai staring at them. They'd totally forgotten about their audience.

"So…" Jess said hesitantly, not liking the glares that he was receiving from both adults.

"You, with me," Luke growled, lifting Lorelai to her feet ungracefully and pointing at Jess.

"Roger," he snapped sarcastically and turned to kiss Rory goodbye.

"See you tomorrow?" she suggested as their fingers tied them together. He stopped in his retreat, neither of them wanting to break the contact.

"Maybe," he said softly.

"Maybe?" she frowned, and he stepped back towards her again. He kissed her neck, much to the dismay of the two observing adults.

"Keep you window open," he whispered and stepped away again, letting her hand go and following Luke out without another word.

"Oh," Rory responded when he was already long gone, leaving her and Lorelai in the hallway together.

"You and Jess?" Lorelai asked with a mixture of denial and anger.

"Yup," Rory confirmed cheerfully, and couldn't help but feel joy at the very idea.

"How long has this been going on?" Lorelai demanded, as though Rory had been sneaking around behind her back.

"I just saw him again about ten minutes ago," Rory replied, sashaying to the exit.

"Wait… so you 'just' saw him again, and now you're getting married?" Lorelai shrieked, chasing after her.

"Yup," Rory confirmed again, and gazed longingly after Luke's truck as it left the yard. "I'll drive his car back to town, he'll want it.

"Uh… no," Lorelai objected.

"Why not? He left his keys in the ignition," Rory pointed out, looking through his window.

"Rory… what are you doing?" Lorelai finally asked, as though the situation was finally coming clear.

"What do you mean?" Rory countered with a frown.

"You… and Jess," Lorelai pointed out, obviously frustrated.

"Yeah," Rory replied dreamily.

"Who are you and where did my daughter go?" Lorelai snapped.

"Huh?" Rory asked as she took the keys our of Jess's car absently.

"Let's go home," Lorelai deflected, and pointed at Rory's car.

"You drive mine, I'll take his," Rory tried again, tossing her mother the keys to her car.

"Do you think this is some sort of game, Rory? This isn't something that you can take back. This is something that you have to live with for the rest of your life. Can you really live with Jess for the rest of your life? I mean… I can't live with him for ten minutes. How can you even look at him after what he did to you?" Lorelai jabbed.

"It's different," Rory whispered, feeling tears spark to her eyes.

"You were with him ten minutes and you agreed to marry him? I don't care if it's different, I want to know what the hell's going on," Lorelai barked.

"Let's go home," Rory evaded, slinking into Jess's car.

"Rory!" her mother yelled, but she ignored her.

"I'll see you at home, mom," she answered instead, and numbly reversed away from her mother and then out of the parking lot.


	7. Chapter Six: Ten

**Know You're Alive**

**Chapter Six**

**Ten**

**Rated T**

_**Six Months Later**_

"You look beautiful," Lane gushed as Rory turned herself in the full-length mirror so she could see all angles of her dress. Six months, that's all it had taken, before her and Jess couldn't take it anymore and had to tie the knot. It was a winter wedding, and her grandmother had gone all out with it. Her and Jess had wanted something simple, but apparently there was no such vocabulary as 'simple' in a Gilmore's world.

"Do you think he'll like it?" Rory asked self-consciously. The ceremony was barely ten minutes away, but she was still fretting to know what Jess would think of her appearance. He'd been very secretive about everything, so she'd returned the favor. All she really knew was that he was wearing something in full-black, and she was wearing something in full-white. Apparently her grandmother thought that it was symbolic.

"I think he'll be tripping over himself," Lorelai told her with a small smile.

"Thank you," Rory said honestly, and it was for a lot more than just the compliments on the dress. In the past six months, their lives had changed drastically. Luke and Lorelai had decided to move in together, which left Rory out in the cold. Fortunately, Jess had been there and Luke's apartment had been open. So they were perching there for a moment. Strangely enough, everyone had been telling them not to unpack yet, so most of their stuff had been in boxes for the past six months. Lorelai had accepted their relationship enough to allow them to move in together. She knew that it killed her mother, but Rory couldn't help who she was in love with.

"It's time to go," her grandmother barked as she entered the room. Rory was dressed in a wedding dress that reminded her quite a bit of Belle's in Beauty and the Beast, except white, and her bridesmaids were all in form-fitting silver dresses. When Rory had first asked her grandmother to be a bridesmaid, there had been quite a scuffle, but soon it had been overcome and the woman had agreed to it. At least the boy was planning on making an 'honest woman' out of her instead of leaving her in the cold like some others that they knew of.

Speaking of 'him', he hadn't been able to come. Apparently there were more important things to do than come to your daughter's wedding to give the bride away. Luke had decided to step in instead, and she couldn't help but smile at him when she saw that he was dressed in the same full-black that Jess was almost undoubtedly in. Luke returned the smile lightly and offered her his arm.

"Thanks," she whispered. Luke had a double role in the wedding. He was the best man as well as posing as her father.

The priest was a shortish man, even against Jess, and they both towered over him. They'd opted for a short ceremony rather than something drawn out. Barely half an hour later, she was Rory Mariano, and Jess was grinning down at her.

"Reception!" Lorelai shouted as they left the church and headed into the town square, where said reception was taking place.

The party was electric, magnificent. The first dance past in a blur, she couldn't even remember what song they'd picked. His arms around her were the only thing she could focus on. Despite them living together, she was still a virgin and they were both looking forward to that evening.

"Can we go?" he groaned into her shoulder while Bootsy ran through his fiftieth drunken toast.

"Go on," Lorelai told them, giving Jess a tight smile before looking over to her daughter with a watery grin. "My little girl's married."

Rory smiled at her, leant over Jess to give her a kiss on the cheek and then rose to drag Jess with her. The town cheered when they saw they were on their way to the diner. Everyone knew about their situation, thanks to people being unable to keep their mouths shut; namely her mother accidentally getting drunk and telling everyone in Luke's diner during the early stages of their relationship.

"I'm so ready for this to happen," she told him as they started kissing when they entered into the diner, and then started stumbling up the stairs. Her dress was making things painfully awkward. It was huge and causing quite a bit of tripping.

"Good to know," he muttered against her lips and they both laughed a little bit. His jacket was gone a few seconds later and his belt followed soon after. When they finally got to the top of the stairs, he lifted her into his arms and carried her across the threshold.

"Who knew Jess Mariano was a romantic?" she taunted a little bit, kissing him again and pulling him close to her as he laid her on his old bed.

"Don't tell anyone," he said with mock-seriousness, his eyes widening comically and his head tilting to the side slightly. It was a gesture that reminded her of the old Jess, before he'd made something of himself. True… taking over the bookstore wasn't exactly 'something', but it was more than being a messenger in New York.

"I wouldn't dream of it," she whispered, and pulled him back to her, running her hands through his hair and attempting to get rid of the rest of his clothes.

Battling through the layers of her skirt and his cummerbund were definitely interesting, but sooner rather than later, they were both eagerly taking place in her first sexual experience. Almost two hours later, Rory felt the slight pull of exhaustion pulling on her mind and her eyes drooped closed, thinking that this had been the best night of her life.

-gGg-

Jess had seen it multiple times, racing over Rory's head, taunting him. The past six months had been a sweet pain for him. There were ties… certain things that couldn't be avoided. When Rory fell asleep, he kissed her shoulder and rose out of the bed. He slid his pants on over his waist and walked into the kitchen, where it was waiting for him on the table. Characteristically, it was huge at first, but slowly shrunk in size until it was miniscule by the time he got there. Even as an angel, it threw shivers down his spine.

"What do I owe?" he asked abruptly, not wanting to play the thing's game.

"You really are a smart one," it joked as it fluttered to its feet and plucked one of its wings out with a flinch. It handed it to Jess, who took it hesitantly.

"What's this?" he questioned as he turned it over in his hand. He saw their past in it; all of the screwed up things that he'd done, all of the past two years, and it was intoxicating.

"Your debt," it hissed.

"What do I owe?" he snapped again, attempting to tear his eyes away from the feather.

"Your life," it shrugged.

"When do I owe it?" Jess attempted to sound strong, confident, but inside he was screaming and kicking. He didn't want to die.

"You have ten years," it stated evenly.

"Ten years," Jess nodded, sinking into a chair lifelessly.

"Make the most of it," the creature hissed, its demonic form seeming to linger over its angelic one for a moment before it disappeared.

"Jess?" Rory called from the bed, obviously having been woken up.

"One second, just getting something to drink," he told her lightly, but he felt something die inside him. All his life he'd known that he would never amount to much, that he would never have the things that Rory had going for her, or even the things that Dean had going for him, but at least he'd figured that he'd make it to his thirtieth birthday. Apparently even that was too much to ask.

"Jess?" Rory called again, and he was snapped out of his thoughts.

"Be right there," he said again, pouring a little bit of water into a cup and drinking it. He barely tasted it, he was too numb. Slowly, he drifted back into their bedroom and attempted to smile at her. "Hey."

"Hi," she greeted as he slid in behind her. His arms wrapped around her tightly and pulled her snuggly against his chest. He had to fight the tears that were attempting to burst through his façade. Instead of crying, he kissed her shoulder and buried his head in her neck. "Are you okay?" Her voice was concerned, obviously not believing something about his actions.

"I'm fine," he lied, but it must have been convincing enough, because she snuggled back against him and wrapped her arms around his. No matter how much he'd love to enjoy this moment, get himself lost in her, all he could think about was what the thing had said. He only had ten years left to live.


End file.
